This school year has been emotionally exhausting, and it's only October! But there have been some high points too. I"ll talk about both.
First emotionally exhausting experience: Sending my 'baby' to school 'all day' for the first time. Having to miss having lunch with him for the first time on a regular basis. He was coming home from school at near the brink of exhaustion. It hurt me because I felt they were asking too much of him. Fast forward 1 month later, and he has adjusted to the new, demanding schedule. He comes home from school happy, and ready to play with Noah. Although each day can very widely in his behavior at school, I can tell Eli and his teachers are understanding each other a little better all the time. I say especially his special ed teacher, she seems to have taken a lot of heart to him.
Second emotionally exhausting experience: Battling the principal over her new "drop off" rule, which she put into place the THIRD week of school. This did not fly over too nice with Eli, and therefore, not with me either. The rule is, parents say g'bye to their kid(s) outside the school building where 2 teachers, and a "trusted 5th grade safety patrol" will greet them. At this time, the teacher will assign a 5th grader to escort the younger child to his/her room. Of course, this is only for "car riders", not kids that are taken to school by bus.
I don't like to use his Autism as an excuse for why he may need things done differently, but sometimes there's no choice. It is what it is. And this is one of those times. His Autism is a big factor into why her drop off plan does not work. You can't just change a routine for a child with Autism and expect everything to be just fine. It's a process. Sometimes a long process. You can't expect a child with Autism to socially accept a new person quickly. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. This time it did not.
Since I've refused her plan, the principal has been escorting myself and Eli to his class each morning. She will not allow me to sign in/out of the office and walk Eli myself. Eli has told me a few times in confidence "I do not like ------" And that sucks, cuz she's the principal and there's nothing I can do about that. I've kept my opinions about this control-freak, arrogant principal quiet around Eli. I do my venting about her while he's at school so I don't add to the stress. A lil added info about the principal. She is a "Doctor" about 'grandma' age, but has NO knowledge or experience with Autism. She hasn't come out and said this, but it is obvious. While it is common for the general population to not know much about it, I think it's a shame to have a principal so little educated about it.
I've requested an IEP meeting. These are meetings for children with special needs. Parents and teachers work together in creating goals throughout the school year based on the child's individual needs. I requested this meeting to add to his plan that I will be walking him to his class everyday, or another adult he trusts (his teacher). Also want it written that the principal will not escort him. Yeah, it might sound mean, but I won't purposely put Eli in the hands of somebody that makes him uncomfortable. (the principal behaved in an unprofessional manor towards me in front of Eli - therefore he does not trust her, even tho after her 'outburst' she has been forceably nice to me) I'm also requesting he receive Occupational Therapy to help him with transitions.
A bit ridiculous any of this is happening honestly. She's determined to keep her rule in place regardless of the special needs of a 4 year old. And I'm determined to ensure Eli is happy, and feels safe in every aspect of his life. So plan "A" of negotiating with the principal failed. Plan "B" was to contact the Superintendent of special education, which failed also because she said technically what the principal says is "law" and held up by the courts. Plan "C" will be taking place next week, which is the IEP. If it fails, Plan "D" is contacting the Virginia Board of Education. If necessary, there will be plan E, F, G, etc.
Now, as stated above, the high points to this school year! I've seen improvement in Eli's academic skills, specifically, fine motor skills. For the first time, he is able to hold a crayon "pinchy" and can draw simple shapes. He is also beginning to try coloring inside the lines. These skills are improving at a faster pace than I was imagining, and Danny and I are both so proud of him!
Another high point, as of October 1st, Eli has been pooping in the toilet each time! Almost at his 1yr anniversary of being pee trained, Nov 9, 2011. Yep, I remember the date! I'm just a numbers nerd like that. hehe We are so proud of him. As I stated above, change can be really hard for him. And changing from diapers, the 1 thing he has known since birth, to using the toilet like everyone else, is huge.
I wish there was lots more 'high points' to this school year, but this is about it for now. But as I said above, it's only October! There are two field trips, and picture day coming up near end of the month. So there should be some fun things to share shortly.
This blog acted as my journal. I felt the need to 'release' all these things that have weighed heavy on my mind the last few/several weeks. Thanks for reading. :)
PS: I hate to blog all about Eli and nothing on Noah! lol Noah is gaining more speech every week, altho still significantly behind. He's 29 months old today, but has the speech of about an 18 month old. He now has a way of saying Eli (YaYa) and his own name (NoYa). He was recently re-evaluated in every category and he scored at, or above age level in every area of growth...except speech of course. His personality is growing all the time too, and he's so amusing! He loves music and will usually bust a move on a daily basis. He has always been very affectionate to all of us, and to his stuffed animals. He gives great hugs! Some of his favorite things.. saying "Ka-Chow", drinking chocolate milk, shoving all his books off his bookshelf all over the floor, and climbing any, and everything. Also enjoys being helpful. He will take things out of the fridge to help make sandwiches, helps unload the dishwasher, load/unload the dryer, and clean up messes he makes.
There, now I feel better. Didn't leave out a kid. :p
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